"You're a woman, I'm a machine..."

I was curious...

Conclusion: Effeminate robot with penis

Now that that's out of the way...

Gardening

Montreal...

was great. 

Hilton... spectacular.

(this is where that girl that other girls think is funny

 but men with good sense of humours know isn't can

 put her lame Paris Hilton joke.)

I'm just saying I've known 4 funny girls in my life.

And one lives in Saskatoon, How funny is that? 

Porter Airlines... remarkable.

FREE LATTES!!

(pronounced LA-TTES)

Pool... wet.

(No, you're a lame joke)

 shot with my Blackberry which I'm selling or trying to trade for an Iphone since I've been in Macworld for years.  God, I hate this Fackberry.

Is this a cool mirror or...

 ...am I the son of god?

Discuss.

How does this...

Turn into this?

Answer:  When you're trying to impress someone.

You - "Where'd you get that cucumber, it looks delicious?"

Me - "Aw, thank you, you're too kind, it's from MY garden."

PG rated unit of measurement...

Email me if you're interested in the NC-17 version.

Although it makes the zucchini's look so small.

Me - "Yeah right."

I'm going to continue to buy these ugly garden accessories 

until someone stops me...

I dare you...

I've giving up on the spinach... 

 They are now enemies of the garden.

That's how I roll.

Grow or be shunned.

Notice I have no midget friends.

I'm often asked on the street by people that recognize me from my blog...

Oh so many people - "Jon, what do you look for in a sandal?"

Well firstly I want them to hurt the hell 

out of a specific part of my foot, ideally making them bleed. 

 Also, stylish yet sporty.

That way I can accessorize accordingly. 

A.D.I.D.A.S.S.S.S.S

All day I dream about Surting Sthe Sucking Sell Sout Sof Sy Seet.

Youtube Video 'O the week

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFLMLBkYeng

September 14th - New Album

Can one of my diehard fans let me know if this is the longest blog post ever?